Friday, February 12, 2016

Valentines Day Outfit 2016

Be Mine

Thoughts on Love: 

Love is the most powerful thing in the world. More powerful than hate and war and destruction. Love heals all and is sought by all. There is no greater desire than to love and be loved. 

Even though love ought to be celebrated everyday it's quite nice to have a designated day that allows us to intentionally recognize it and celebrating with those whom we are passionate about. 

Since Valentines Day falls on a Sunday this year, my husband and I will celebrate by having breakfast at home (banana pancakes will probably be on the menu), followed by us attending church service, then I would like to surprise him by taking him indoor rock climbing at Mesa Rim. I went for the first time with some girlfriends this past week and I kept thinking, "Gosh, Karl would love this!"  So, Shhhhhh...don't tell him! Then we will end the night with an early dinner at one of our favorite restaurants Farmer's Bottega in Mission Hills. 

Our Valentines Day tradition: Karl waking me up with a little gift and us exchanging cards and reading them together in bed. 

Above is what I will be wearing to Saturday night's double date with friends. I found that amazing DVF wrap dress at a thrift store a few years ago and I am so glad to finally put it to use. Karl was sweet enough to buy me those sexy heeled sandals at Aldo which are now on sale.  

What are your plans this weekend? How do you let others know you love them?

Coat (similar here <--- the one I bought)

Monday, January 18, 2016

No Shopping for One Year Challenge

On January 15, 2015, I began my “Need Less Challenge” (#NeedLessChallenge on Instagram), which meant: no shopping for clothes, shoes or accessories for one year. The exceptions were: 1) I was able to accept gifts from others, and 2) I was able to buy gifts for others.

What led me to begin this challenge was pretty simple: I wanted to challenge myself in an area of my life that I really enjoyed, yet was unnecessary. There was not a deeper, existential meaning behind the challenge, nor was I attempting to kick some kind of intense shopping addiction. I simply wanted to see if I had the self-control needed to succeed…Turns out I did! My Need Less Challenge was successfully completed on January 15, 2016!!! Go me!

It was no surprise that this experiment of self-control allowed me to understand myself more deeply. As a psychotherapist, I often discuss the benefits of breaking away from familiar habits and routines in order to allow oneself to grow emotionally, physically, intellectually or spiritually. I was pleased to find that I had learned a few new things about my relationship with shopping…

Things I learned during the #NeedLessChallenge:

1)   Shopping impulses are hormonal. Three months into the challenge, I was able to recognize that my desire to shop intensified around the time I menstruated. My increased desire to shop was directly correlated with my feelings of irritability and emotional sensitivity that accompanied my monthly flow. Interesting! It became clear to me that in the past I would have headed to the mall to emotionally “feel better” by shopping. Since I did not have that option, I had to curb that impulse in other ways, such as: cooking a healthy meal, watching interesting documentaries online or clean my house as a way to emotionally comfort myself and keep those impulses at bay.   
2)   Classic pieces to the rescue! I’ve realized that a great pair of skinny jeans, wide leg slacks, nude heels, a few solid colored blouses and a great fitting blazer makes the world go round. Skip the trendy pieces and invest in timeless and high-quality staples that you can mix and match. You can always jazz up a basic outfit with some statement jewelry and bold lipstick, then voila, you’ve just gone from “professional” to “happy hour chic”!
3)   Events don’t require new clothes. Before the challenge, if there were a special event coming up such as a wedding or holiday party, I would immediately plan a trip to the mall and set aside cash to purchase a new outfit. Since that was no longer an option, I actually found it liberating to just head to my closet and tell myself, “Something in here will have to work!” And sure enough, I would successfully make use of some neglected dress and feel really good about not spending the extra money during a time-consuming journey at the mall. Tip: Attend a clothes swap party or simply borrow clothes from friends when you are in a rut. My friends totally helped me out and supported me every step of the way!  
4)   I began cutting back in other areas. When you take on a minimalist mindset it kind of permeates into all areas of you life. I quickly found myself purging my makeup collection, old files, kitchen appliances, and toiletries. I donated things that I hadn’t touched in over a year, and trust me there were bags and bags of things I parted with. 
5)   I took more fashion risks. Because I couldn’t shop, I needed to make do with what I had. For the sake of not wearing the exact same thing each week I became more creative in my wardrobe pairings. Occasionally, I would find inspiration from my Pinterest Style Board and attempt to recreate outfits. It became a fun little task and I really looked forward to setting out my clothes the evening before work.
6)   I found other hobbies. I had no option but to spend my down time doing things other than shop. This past year I have spent more time in the gym (on my own and with friends) than ever before. Additionally, I have been spending more time in the kitchen whipping up healthy meals. Also, I’ve rediscovered my love of reading for leisure. I’ve found that a new book paired with a cute neighborhood coffee shop is the perfect way to enjoy a few hours between sessions or on the weekends.

Overall, I am glad I completed this year-long challenge. In the beginning it wasn’t easy, but gradually I was able to reset the habit of mindless consumerism and become more aware of my shopping triggers. I am happy to report that I was able to allocate the money I would have spent on clothes to pay off my student loan! Thanks to the #NeedLessChallenge I am more mindful about how I decide to spend my time and money.  

If we are not intentional the world will dictate our actions and beliefs. If we live with intention we can change the world!   Xo, Sheilah

I am looking for a new challenge this year. I welcome your suggestions :) 

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Getting More Time

Image Source: Here

Have you ever thought: “Gosh, I wish I had more time.”? If you haven’t, you aren’t human. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we don’t have enough time. Sure, some of us have to work more hours per day than others, leading us to believe that those who work less have more time to accomplish other tasks, or enjoy personal endeavors outside of work…WRONG!

Psychological research actually shows that people who are busier and have less spare time are actually the ones who are more successful at tackling extra personal and random tasks. Meaning: When we have less free time, we get more done…huh!

I have seen this phenomenon play out in my own life; When I know I have a busy week ahead of me, for the sake of not feeling overwhelmed, I proactively begin planning out my days more intentionally. I take time to open my planner, plug in all of my scheduled appointments and begin plugging in all of the other chores and tasks that I would like to accomplish that week as well. Resulting in a more thoroughly planned out week. Almost every hour of my day gets accounted for, and I have a “Plan of Attack” mindset.

Now, if I don’t feel as busy, I typically don’t feel the urgency to be as diligent with planning out my days; Therefore, I don’t get as much random (but important) chores/ errands accomplished.  Use that surge of stress from feeling overwhelmed to motivate you to be proactive and plan out your week. You will be impressed by how much you get done.

If you would like me to create a tutorial on how to get the most out of your planner or calendar, comment down below!

PS. Happiest of Birthdays to my friends Patty & Susanna! I love you ladies. 
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